Readers Respond: Comments You've Heard About Your Life as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Consider this free therapy. Instead of carrying around those biting comments, dump them here to be rid of them. What Have You Heard?

NOT Satisfied

i would have to say I am not only a SAHM but I do daycare/preschool in my home. and nothing grips my grits more than my HUSBAND coming home and telling me i "do nothing all day long" it's like ok?! if i leave you home alone with OUR kids *not even daycare kids* for more than 30 mins you are freaking out by the time i get home! I'M A NANNY, COOK, MAID, COUNCELOR, DOCTOR, TEACHER, FRIEND, MOTHER, TAXI, AND SO MUCH MORE! I make sure the house is cleaned up and picked up and organized all day long while taking care of children!!! AND STILL BRINGING IN AN INCOME WHILE STILL BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM! but i do nothing?! ggrr!!

—Guest Guest Lynnette

tired of comments from working women

Oh must be nice to stay home and sleep and relax all day ..ahem well the house certainly does not clean itself the laundry doesnt magically fold themselves , and when husband comes home to a nice dinner on the table and doesnt have to worry about all the extra stress. Oh and my most favorite comeback " Well why am I gonna have somebody else pick up my kids or watch when their responsibilty!

—Guest proud momma

Unemployment Line

In addition to surviving more than a few of the hideous scenarios above I endure my in-laws constantly suggesting job openings, wives of husband's friends yacking incessantly about balancing work and home and finally my husband's dismissive and insulting comments. "I could stay home all day and play with her. (our daughter). " He also hassles me constantly about my lack of financial contribution to our income, saying he pays for everything and doesn't have any money for himself. Finally, since I have two serious health conditions, which is why I began staying at home to begin with, I happened to see my file at the hospital the other day under which I was labeled "unemployed. Ugh!

—Guest Jessi

Just a few:

"You must be bored all day." "Get a job and buy yourself something." And of course the constant job lead tips such as: "'So-and-so' just got a job 'fill in the blank'...you should apply." Ugh and these come from family and 'friends'... I can only imagine what strangers say!

—Guest Jenny

It ends at home

I hate how, on the rare times when I go with my husband to workdos, that when asking what do I do, I say I am a stay at home Mum, the conversation ends.....like I have no opinion or as if it is not a worthy 'profession', considering that I used to model, still write, still think, still have a brain, and am still 30 (not exactly senile) that I am passed over for those who will choose to have a career first and children as a second thought....

—mrstakeshi

So Lucky

I hate when people say "Oh I wish I had your life." Well sometimes I wish that I had a 30 minute lunch break...but I don't! The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

—angel19clh

Not doing anything

A friend was telling me that I should take on hers (and others') children because "You're not doing anything anyway, you're just staying home." If I'd wanted to run a daycare I'd have said so. My home life is busy enough without adding on children belonging to 'busy' people!

—Guest Thandi

Tired But Lucky

I'm a mother of 3 sons and I'm busy. All day people say, "Oh you are lucky you don't have to do much work," but in my opinion I'm doing great things. I really enjoy staying home to look after my sons, husband, and house too.

—Guest love you mom

SAHMs Waste Time Cooking at Home

I usually get remarks from my mom like, "Why do you sit and cook all this when you can get it ordered? I would never waste time cooking all that. I have no time and got a job that pays me." I would answer and at times just be amazed how a woman could just use herself to work for others at an office but never think about working for her household. I'd say I'm better composed, better rewarded and certainly less stressed than working women.

—Guest ash

SAHMs are to look frumpy

I took my twin sons to my godchild's birthday party (I was dressed quite nicely I might add). My so called friend (godchild's mum) had the audacity to look at the other parents and said to them..... "Can you believe she (pointing in my direction) is a SAHM? Look at the way she is dressed, folks would think she actually works." My response was..... "Darn! if I knew this was that sort of party, I would have dressed in my bath robe, left my curlers in my hair and kept on my bedroom slippers!" Needless to say, I mustered up enough dignity and poise that would make royalty proud, took my kids and made a graceful exit.

—Guest suzanne

Confused m-in-law

When I had a baby, we had no social support in the form of parents-in-law or parents staying with us. In India, grandparents usually pitch in to take care of the new arrival in the family, to very extended periods of time. On a brief visit to see my newborn, my mother-in-law from a remote village commented, 'Oh you city (urban) people never get your priorities right. You talk big, want something but go after something else.' She meant that I should have been taking care of our son, instead of working full-time. As my husband was doing ok on the financial front, I thought about this and a few months later, when I couldn't get a good domestic help for the baby, I actually quit my job at a renowned publishing house. Then came my mom-in-law's next comment, 'It is unbelievable that you left such a well-paying job with a good organization to sit at home and look after the child!'

—Guest Lakshmi

Free Car Pool

I'm a mom of 3. One time, a (former) friend called to ask me to pick up her daughter from school. I'll never forget how she asked. "Can you pick up Anna after school? It's not like you're doing anything."

—Guest Amanda

Good Thing She's at Home

I shared my opinion of a news story with one of my husband's obnoxious co-workers at an office party. A few minutes later, I heard him mention my name and overheard him mocking my opinion, followed by, "It's a good thing she's at home where she belongs." I didn't realize stay-at-home moms weren't allowed to have opinions!

—Guest Erin